Family,  Lifestyle

3 Things to Consider Before You Say I Do

The periods before you say I do are usually some of the most beautiful times. Everything seems so rosy and perfect with the romance blooming on every side. You probably don’t even want to leave your spouse’s side.

We know the feeling of honey

Marriage ushers you into a new phase of life. A life of sharing – constantly with someone. Before you jump in headlong, there are certain implications you should weigh carefully.

At this point, it is so easy to overlook some key areas in the marriage preparation as we get to busy with the wedding preparations.

I mean, ‘why can’t we just fall in love and have our feelings of happy-ever-after in peace!’

Just before you take that leap into a lifelong commitment, let’s help you breathe and think straight. Here are the 3 major things you need to consider before you say I do

Are you both married to Jesus Christ?

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This is the first and most important thing to consider before you say I do. If either you or your date does not see Jesus and your source of love and joy, you will constantly seek and try to manipulate love from one another.

Jesus instructed in John 15:12, This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. Think of this, how will you or your date know how to love the way Jesus loves if you do know Him?

Truly, this is the most basic compatibility test for a Christian who is working towards marriage. In marriage, you need more than romantic love to survive and thrive. Therefore, it is important that both of you are married to Jesus and depend on Him for fulfillment.

Conflict resolution

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Dating and courtship are quite different from marriage. Preparing for conflicts will help you and your partner not to be shocked when it comes up in marriage. Remember that change is constant and you never really get to know someone until you live with them for a while.

Sin will always try to contradict the desires of Christ in us. However, Ephesians 4:2-3 says ‘And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences’.

This implies that we shouldn’t allow, greedy, pride, insensitivity and self-indulgence to ruin a beautiful and happy marriage.

Conflicts are bound to arise, especially with two imperfect people. Friction is also unavoidable. But it can do so much harm to couples who have not learned to resolve it properly. So before you say I do, it is important to talk about how you both will resolve these conflicts.

Is Leadership properly established in your relationship?

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The major difference between a relationship and marriage is that in one, you have the option to leave if the person acts unreasonably. However, in the other one, it’s a lifelong commitment. Therefore the place of selecting wisely cannot be overemphasized.

When it comes to the issue of leadership, there is so much to consider. Especially in this world of ‘correctness’, that dictates what we should permit and what we shouldn’t. However, the leader determines the level of maturity a relationship and marriage will experience

A lot of singles struggle with relational leadership. Although our culture suggests that leaders must showcase superior performance to earn this title, God determines marriage leadership quite differently.

Before you say I do, you and your date should understand that in a Christian marriage, there is the place of hierarchy. This is how God himself designed it.

Ephesians 5:23-25 explains clearly, ‘The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting’.

Going by this, Christ is the head of every family, a husband is the head of his wife and the woman is subject to her husband. However, the man and the woman are not independent of each other.

There are other factors you need to consider before you say I do, however, these are major prerequisites. What other factors do you think should be considered? Kindly share your thoughts with other gospelredefined.com readers.

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